200620
200620
深夜。23歳男の子からストーカーを受ける。なんで追ってくるかは分からない。聞いても教えてくれない。取り敢えず叫んで威嚇したいあるいは助けを求めたいが、やっぱり危機的状況で声が出ない。けど、実際彼に対しての恐怖感や圧迫感はそんなにない、ただしつこくて、面倒なだけ。自分は27歳くらいの気持ちで、23歳と聞いて若いな、年下だ、と思っている。逃げて、逃げて、逃げて、ずっとついてくる。ずっと走る。通りが広めの住宅街を走る。家を知られたくないから、家に帰れない。
小学校のグラウンドの入り口をたまたま通りすぎる。小学校の女性備員が居たので、彼女に言いつけて助けを求めた。彼もそこにいる。すると、私の父親は相撲取りという設定になっていて、しかもそれは私の中で威嚇の為の嘘の設定で、でも彼女はその少年にお相撲さんのような凛々しい顔つきとめる。少年はなぜかそう管備員に言われて得意気。そして意識が切り替わり...というか家に戻ることができた。
少年の注意を備員が引いてくれたおかげだ。台所に場面は移る。長方形の、奥行き4、5mの、そんなに広くないL字型キッチン。自分が帰って直ぐ、だれかの帰宅。後ろを振り返ると、おばあさんたちと大勢（はとこ）らしき人の帰宅。なんとなく感覚だと、大勢は優等生。文句を言わない、従順なイメー ジ。けど私へは心なしか冷酷。
年輪を6cmほど切った直径 40-50cmくらいの板に、半円形の無数の黒いワイヤーを付けて取手にしているものを棚の上に置く。鳥籠だった。形が不思議で興味をもった。可愛い鳥籠。自分もそれを持ち上げて見てみた。開ける部分は見当たらない。 彼らは、山に小鳥たちと犬を散歩させに行っていたみたい。朝方5時半くらい。毎日散歩させているらしい。
小鳥3匹くらい。茶色とか、薄めの色。みんな健康そうだけど、年寄ってるのが見てわかる。犬も同様に毛並みに艶が無くて、けど大人しくて足取りはしっかりしている。温厚そうな性格なのが伝わるような犬。 私はお腹が謎に空いていて、ジュースを飲んだけどお腹が満たされず。母親のような人が台所で料理をしているからあと少し我慢すればいいのだけど。とか考えている。朝ごはんというより、もう少しボリューミーな何かの支度。まだお腹は空いていて、何か探すけどフルーツの缶詰めしか見当たらず、、、
以上起床
2024/12/22
小学校のグラウンドの入り口をたまたま通りすぎる。小学校の女性備員が居たので、彼女に言いつけて助けを求めた。彼もそこにいる。すると、私の父親は相撲取りという設定になっていて、しかもそれは私の中で威嚇の為の嘘の設定で、でも彼女はその少年にお相撲さんのような凛々しい顔つきとめる。少年はなぜかそう管備員に言われて得意気。そして意識が切り替わり...というか家に戻ることができた。
少年の注意を備員が引いてくれたおかげだ。台所に場面は移る。長方形の、奥行き4、5mの、そんなに広くないL字型キッチン。自分が帰って直ぐ、だれかの帰宅。後ろを振り返ると、おばあさんたちと大勢（はとこ）らしき人の帰宅。なんとなく感覚だと、大勢は優等生。文句を言わない、従順なイメー ジ。けど私へは心なしか冷酷。
年輪を6cmほど切った直径 40-50cmくらいの板に、半円形の無数の黒いワイヤーを付けて取手にしているものを棚の上に置く。鳥籠だった。形が不思議で興味をもった。可愛い鳥籠。自分もそれを持ち上げて見てみた。開ける部分は見当たらない。 彼らは、山に小鳥たちと犬を散歩させに行っていたみたい。朝方5時半くらい。毎日散歩させているらしい。
小鳥3匹くらい。茶色とか、薄めの色。みんな健康そうだけど、年寄ってるのが見てわかる。犬も同様に毛並みに艶が無くて、けど大人しくて足取りはしっかりしている。温厚そうな性格なのが伝わるような犬。 私はお腹が謎に空いていて、ジュースを飲んだけどお腹が満たされず。母親のような人が台所で料理をしているからあと少し我慢すればいいのだけど。とか考えている。朝ごはんというより、もう少しボリューミーな何かの支度。まだお腹は空いていて、何か探すけどフルーツの缶詰めしか見当たらず、、、
以上起床
2024/12/22
Midnight. I get stalked by a 23 year-old boy. I don’t know why he is chasing me. He doesn’t tell me
why. I just want to yell to threaten him or to ask for help, but my voice doesn’t come out in that
crisis situation. I don’t actually feel scared or pressure that much against him. It’s just annoying
and such a hassle. I consider myself 27 years old, so when I hear he is 23, I think that he is
young, much younger than me. He keeps chasing, chasing, chasing. I keep running, running,
running.
I run through a residential area on a wide road. I don’t want him to know where I live, so I cannot go home. I pass by an entrance of the elementary school’s field by chance. I find a security guard who works there, so I ask her to help me. He is there, too. And then, all of a sudden, my dad starts to be set as someone who is a sumo wrestler, which was a lie I made, and she says to him that his facial expression is dignified and gives her an impression of one of sumo wrestlers, and that seems to satisfy him. Everything blacks out and somehow I manage to go back home. Thanks to her having grabbed his attention. The scene goes to a kitchen.
The kitchen is like 4-5m of a L-shape rectangle. It is not that spacious. Someone gets home just after I arrive. As I look back, I see grandmas and second cousins coming home. I sense that everyone is a goody two shoes and compliant, though towards me, they could be cruel. I put a board on the shelf. It is with a diameter of about 40-50 cm with about 6 cm of annual rings cut out, and numerous semicircular black wires attached to it. I realise that is a birdcage. Its strange shape gets my curiosity. It looks cute. I try to lift it up but cannot find where to open it.
It seems that they were gone for a walk with little birds and dogs. It’s around half past 5 in the morning. They do the same everyday. There are three birds that are all pale brown. They all look healthy but I can tell they are old. The dogs are also old having no shiny and lively hair, but they are calm and walk finely. They all look good and loyal.
I am hungry for some reason and I try to drink some juice but it doesn’t work. I know that I just have to wait for a person who is like a mom to finish cooking. It’s not gonna take long. That’s something random that I’m thinking about. It’s not like breakfast, something more fulfilling judging by how she prepares stuffs. But I am still starving so am trying to look for something to eat but only find canned fruits….
awake
22/12/2024
I run through a residential area on a wide road. I don’t want him to know where I live, so I cannot go home. I pass by an entrance of the elementary school’s field by chance. I find a security guard who works there, so I ask her to help me. He is there, too. And then, all of a sudden, my dad starts to be set as someone who is a sumo wrestler, which was a lie I made, and she says to him that his facial expression is dignified and gives her an impression of one of sumo wrestlers, and that seems to satisfy him. Everything blacks out and somehow I manage to go back home. Thanks to her having grabbed his attention. The scene goes to a kitchen.
The kitchen is like 4-5m of a L-shape rectangle. It is not that spacious. Someone gets home just after I arrive. As I look back, I see grandmas and second cousins coming home. I sense that everyone is a goody two shoes and compliant, though towards me, they could be cruel. I put a board on the shelf. It is with a diameter of about 40-50 cm with about 6 cm of annual rings cut out, and numerous semicircular black wires attached to it. I realise that is a birdcage. Its strange shape gets my curiosity. It looks cute. I try to lift it up but cannot find where to open it.
It seems that they were gone for a walk with little birds and dogs. It’s around half past 5 in the morning. They do the same everyday. There are three birds that are all pale brown. They all look healthy but I can tell they are old. The dogs are also old having no shiny and lively hair, but they are calm and walk finely. They all look good and loyal.
I am hungry for some reason and I try to drink some juice but it doesn’t work. I know that I just have to wait for a person who is like a mom to finish cooking. It’s not gonna take long. That’s something random that I’m thinking about. It’s not like breakfast, something more fulfilling judging by how she prepares stuffs. But I am still starving so am trying to look for something to eat but only find canned fruits….
awake
22/12/2024